The Painful Memories
by Felichi
Summary: My first fanfiction. Ludwig felt empty. He had lost all what was important to him. He was gone and never coming back. But who was that boy then? Coming in his house and leaving there PASTA? Rated T for swearing. This is going to be kinda weird. Just warning.
1. Chapter I: Mysterious Boy

**Hello everyone! It's me, Felichi.**

**This is going to be kinda weird fanfic, so prepare :D It was supposed to be a drama, but... You'll see what it'll be XD**

**It's my first one, and the chapters are going to be very short. Sorry 'bout that -/-**

**Anyway, any kind of review is welcome, hopefully you enjoy my strange story ;)**

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**The Painful Memories**

_Chapter I_

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Ludwig stared out of the window. He followed the falling raindrops as they made their way to bottom of the window. He sighed.

He's not coming back. I have to forget him, he thought. While being depressed by the thought, the German got up from his armchair. He stepped out of the room and went to the bathroom. Ludwig looked at himself from the mirror. His emerald like blue eyes had black rings around them, and his blond hair was a complete mess. He sighed again and walked to the kitchen.

He opened the fridge and checked what it had inside it. No wurst. Only cheese, some vegetables and... Ludwig felt his heart stop. There was pasta inside the fridge. How can it be...?! It wasn't there yesterday! And no-one had visited here after... that. Ludwig felt tears coming up to his eyes. He wiped them off and looked again. There it still was. The pasta. How can it possibly be there?! Could it be...?!

Suddenly Ludwig heard the door silently being shut. He ran to the front door and looked out to the rain. He saw a dark character running away from the house. Ludwig couldn't see anything because of the rain, but then a lightning stroke a tree in a nearby park, and then he saw... How can it be? It's not possible! Ludwig wanted to scream. He grabbed his head and fell on his knees. He couldn't hold the tears anymore. The person running away was a brunet. And he had a curl on the right side of his head.


	2. Chapter II: Gilbert's Worries

_Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, I wish I did, but I don't._

_Enjoy the second chapter!_

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**The Painful Memories**

_Chapter II_

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Ludwig was sitting on a table in his older brother's house. He was thinking about him.

I have to forget him. Why is it so hard? Ludwig thought.

Everybody said I have to forget. It's better for me. He's gone and he's never coming back. But what was it what I saw there? I can't just throw it aside.

Nah, I was probably just dreaming. I was shocked and hearing voices. But still...

Ludwig's brother Gilbert was worried. His bruder didn't think nothing else than that redheaded boy. After his... incident his name became a taboo. If someone said it out loud Ludwig was having a mental breakdown and wasn't able to talk in weeks.

My precious little West is so depressed and silent nowadays, Gilbert thought. He doesn't even react to anything I say. He's like a zombie... but at least he's not hungry for brains. Gilbert sighed. I can't even remember what was it like when everything was normal. It had been like this for months. And West is not looking like to be able to move on in life. Well, I have to talk with him. But not now. He looks like... like he had seen a ghost.

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_SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! ;_;_

_These chapters are extremely short, but I'll add tons of them at the same time. This fanfic is short anyway, but I can't keep the drama in these if I don't cut them in chapters. I'll understand if you hate me now. Please just bear with me ;_;_


	3. Chapter III: How It All Happened

_Finally a little longer chapter! :D_

_...but it's still short ;_;_

_I'll understand if you don't want to read anymore._

_But even thought I'm annoying, it's still (maybe) a good story, I guess._

_So please read it without caring about me. I would really appreciate that._

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**The Painful Memories**

_Chapter III_

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Ludwig tried not to think anything related to him. But it was impossible. Every place was full of memories made with him. Even looking at the mirror was painful. All the times we washed our teeth together in front of this mirror... And this painting... He painted it for me. And this couch, and all the times I told him not to have a siesta on it. It brings back so many painfully happy memories. I still remember that day like it was yesterday...

"Come on Ludwig, they're already waiting for us!"

"That's only your fault, Feliciano. You were the one having a siesta and cooking pasta and not even trying to put some clothes on."

"Ve~ Come on, cheer up a little~!"

"Well, I am cheerful."

"You call that a cheerful face? I think you don't even know what cheerful means~!"

I sigh and try to look more cheerful. He just smiles at me like there were no tomorrow. It really makes me happy even thought I don't really look like it.

"See~? It's not that hard!" He smiles again.

I smile back. Feli just makes me so happy that I can't look stern even if I wanted to.

We are crossing a huge bridge when I hear Feli say:

"Hey, look~! Is that fratello?! What is going on?"

I look at the way he points. I see Feli's brother, Lovino, being pushed towards the railing by some Mafiosos. We can hear his swearing even over cars and wind, which was kind of miracle in that noise. Feli started to run without caring about anything else. He's usually little coward, but when it's about his brother, nothing stops him. I start to follow him, and when we are almost there, we hear someone shouting:

"NO! DON'T COME HERE OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

It's Lovino. I turn to look at Feliciano, but he's gone. He's already attacking the gang.

"Wait! Feli! STOP!" I shout, but he isn't listening. Oh no. This is bad. He can't beat them alone. Even if I am helping we can't help Lovino. There is no other choice, so I run to them and try to help Feli as much as I can.

The Mafiosos look really surprised when Feli runs at them and starts to beat them. They look at him and start to laugh.

"Hello, pip-squeak, what are you doing here?" one of them asks and laughs. His laugh is cut off pretty soon when Feli kicks his knee and grabs his arm.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Get off from me!"

The mafioso starts to look really angry he tries to throw Feli off from him but Feli kicks his head and knocks him off. The other Mafiosos look stunned. They let go of Lovino and start to come closer to Feli. Meanwhile I help Lovino away from those gangsters.

"YOU POTATO BASTARD, WHY DID YOU COME HERE EVEN WHEN I CLEARLY SAID I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU COME!" Lovino shouts at me. I just shake my head and run to the Mafiosos. They have almost caught Feli. I attack the boss of the group and punch him in the back. He turns around and looks at me like I were a meal.

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_If you didn't think this is a weird story, now you will. Mafiosos, depressed Luddy, someone putting pasta in a fridge and then escaping... Not strange at all xd_

_Anyway, hopefully you still enjoyed this chapter! :3_


	4. Chapter IV: Death

**The Painful Memories**

_Chapter IV_

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"Well well well, look what we got here. Isn't it Ludwig Beilschmidt?"

I look at the man while being shocked and stunned. Who is this man? Suddenly I recognize him as my old school's student, Giovanni Pergulósi. He was an exchange student from Italy, and always bullying the younger children. And now he seems to be a Mafioso. How lovely.

"What are you doing here? I thought we made a deal for not getting into each other's business, remember?"

My eyes widen up. Are you fucking kidding me?! It was almost ten years ago!

"It's not related to this. It was at the third grade. We're not kids anymore, Giovanni."

Giovanni's smile seems to fade away.

"Fine then." He snapped his fingers.

"Take this man's friend and throw him into the river."

I look at him in pure horror. Is he serious?! Giovanni's men have captured Feli. What can I do? I decide to just follow my head and I run to Giovanni, and grab his knife from his pocket and put it into his throat.

"LET HIM GO OR YOUR BOSS WILL BE DEAD IN LESS THAN TWO SECONDS!"

The Mafiosos freeze and start to stare at me. They seem to calculate their chances against me. I'm alone, and there's four of them, but I'm pretty built, and they're all kind of skinny. I could make it. It seems they got the same idea.

While calculating my possibilities, I spot Lovino who is sneaking behind those men. Before I even realize anything he got two of 'em down and Feli is also back in the fight. I thought they were both always scared and weak, but it seems that they get pretty much strength when their loved ones are in danger. Before I'm able to do anything, all the Mafiosos are down. Giovanni had fainted when I threatened him with the knife, and everything seems to be ok. I get up and run to Feli.

"Feli!" I hug him tight. He seems to be really surprised. And that's not really a miracle. I don't usually hug anyone. Feli actually is the only one who ever hugs me. Lovino looks really disturbed and angry. He mutters something like "potato bastard" and "never listening" and pretty much everything else I really can't hear. When I let Feli go, he runs to his brother and hugs him. He starts to cry and Lovino comforts him a little. After a little while he leaves Feli sob there and comes to me.

"Um... Thank... argh... Thank you for... saving me and my brother", he says while looking away. We just stand there quiet a little while, and then I just simply nod to him. That's all he needs, and he's going to turn away, when we hear a terrible scream behind our backs. We turn around and see Feli hanging from the railing.

One of the Mafiosos wasn't knocked out after all, and he made the sobbing Feli trip and slip over the railing. Lovino punches the man into his stomach while I ran to Feli. But it's too late; Giovanni was already there. I look at him with horror in my eyes. Since when did they all recover this fast?! I see Giovanni step on Feli's fingers. I run to them and push Giovanni away, but Feli already let go of the railing. I hear his terrifying scream when he falls into the river.

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_Noooooo! Feliiiih~ ;A;_

_He fell ;_;_

_Yes, I know this story is weird, but y'know, I warned you XD_

_'Til next chapter!_


	5. Chapter V: Hard Times

_SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY ;_;_

_It's a short chapter again. Really short. I apologize. Really. I'm horribly disappointed with myself. But anyway, let's continue this story, shall we?_

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**The Painful Memories**

_Chapter V_

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Days later the police were still looking for Feli. His body was never found, and I was still hoping to see him one day. In his funeral I cried all the time. Weeks after that I was still sure that he was alive. He was going to come back. He was not dead. I couldn't accept that. Time went cruelly ahead, and there were still no trace of Feli. Everyone else already accepted his death. Only I, Lovino and their grandpa Roma were still sure that he'll come back.

The months after Feli's disappearing were horrible to my brother. I didn't say a word, I didn't eat. I just stared out of the window without seeing anything. I didn't hear anything. Gilbert was horrified. He was mentally cracking. He was this close of becoming insane. That was when I finally started to move from the armchair in front of my window. I didn't want to lose my brother too. So I started to eat a little, talk and try to live a normal live. But it felt all empty without Feli. We were supposed to live happily together much longer than this.

My life started to lose its meaning. My life isn't worth of anything without him. I started to think about suicide. I nearly tried it once. I went to that bridge where he... disappeared. I was planning to jump from there, but I couldn't. What if Feli was alive? What if he came back here and I was dead? I couldn't bear the thought, so I didn't do it. But my pain was still too much to bear. I couldn't do it.

I went to all kinds of therapies. They helped me a little. Now I can bear everything by not thinking of him. But then I saw that pasta in my fridge... And that brunet boy running away... Why?! I was nearly able to forget about him! Why now? When I was this close of leaving this pain behind? Why...


	6. Chapter VI: The Mysterious Boy Returns

_A longer chapter once again! I'm so happy ^_^_

_It's going even weirder, just warning ya (;_

_I'm stuck in this part... I don't know how to continue anymore. Well, that only means the next chapter will take a little longer. I'm sorry TT^TT_

_Every idea for helping me get some ideas is welcome! Review some of them and I'll be extremely thankful!_

_Now, here you are, a little longer chapter! Enjoy!_

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**The Painful Memories**

_Chapter VI_

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A brunet man stood next to a big house. It was a beautiful house. It always caught his attention. He looked at it with confusion. Why did it look so familiar? I don't think I've been here before... He walked closer to the house and looked inside the window. It looked like nobody was home. The door was open, and he couldn't fight the want to go in. I have to know why this house is so familiar... He felt a headache coming. Ouch. Why does my head hurt every time I'm going to remember something?! He grabbed his head and sat down for a while. Soon he started to feel dizzy and a little sleepy. Maybe it isn't so bad if I rest here a moment, he thought. The world started to turn hazy and black...

The man suddenly woke up. It had started raining. He looked at his watch. I slept for over two hours! Oh no! But I can't leave now when it's raining... Well, it's the same thing to go inside now. The door is still open, and it looks like no-one went in or came out from the house while I slept here, or they would have noticed me. The boy put his head inside the door. The house was beautiful from the inside too. It had a shiny black piano in the corner of the living room on a white furry mat. The kitchen was dusty, but he had a feeling it had been shiny clean all the time before something happened. He had no idea where he got that idea, but he was kind of sure of it. The kitchen was very light-colored, and every single thing in there was like new. The man started to feel hungry. Maybe the owner of the house wouldn't mind if he cooked some pasta for himself? Usually people think "of course they'll mind, I'm in their house without a permission!", but the man didn't seem to think so. He seemed to be kind of weird anyway. Not like people in here at all.

He started to cook happily without caring what the owner's thoughts may be. He looked in to the fridge. Oh, there's some spaghetti! I can make pasta! He smiled from ear to ear. Pasta was his favourite food of all time. He didn't even actually think anything else than pasta.

By the way, if the owner of this house has spaghetti in his kitchen, maybe he likes pasta too! he thought. I'll leave him some~! He smiled even more. He didn't remember anymore why was he here in the first place, but it didn't really matter when he was finally able to cook.

"It's ready~!" he said happily. Right after he remembered that this was someone else's house. He put his hands in front of his mouth and his eyes widened in surprise. He heard someone coming from the bathroom. And that someone was coming straightly to the kitchen. Did he hear me talking aloud?! Oh crap. I'm in trouble now. He silently ran to the living room and hid behind the couch. If the Someone heard he speaking he didn't even need to look for him and he would find him. But luckily the Someone went to the kitchen and didn't even bother to search for him. Looks like he didn't hear after all, the boy thought. He sighed silently in relief. Thank God.

The brunet boy started to sneak very silently at the front door. He saw the man's face from the mirrors of the kitchen and living room. He noticed that he was pretty familiar looking. He was pretty built, had a blond hair and blue eyes. Those eyes seemed to be widened in horror. Is he allergic to pasta or something? the boy thought. Or doesn't he like pasta? This kind of thought in mind he opened the door and got outside.

He shut the door and ran in to the rainy yard. He saw that man from the window coming after him. He ran towards the park but turned around when the lightning struck an oak in that park. The accidentally looked behind, and the man was able to see his face in the light. He was terrified. He kept running until he was at the bridge again. Then he started to think about everything. What if he wants to catch me and put me in jail for coming in to his house? He nearly started to cry. I don't want to end up in jail. I shouldn't have come back in to this town after all.

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_Please remember that this is my first fanfiction I've ever wrote. Every review will be a great help for me. And if you have ideas how to continue the story, please let me know them! I'll be really honored to hear your opinions._

_Thank you!_

_Felichi ,,w,,_


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